The Diary of Aragorn LOCKED!
by Cheesekakke
Summary: I think the title explains the story. The plot follows the movie(s). I rated this PG because I find Aragorn's thoughts VERY disturbing...
1. Bree summons, hobbits arrive

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The Diary of the Heir of Isildur,  
  
Aragorn,  
  
Strider,  
  
Elfstone,  
  
Elssar,  
  
Thorongil,  
  
Longshanks,  
  
Wingfoot,  
  
Oh, just forget it.I don't feel like writing the rest of my names.  
  
September 29th 3018  
  
Word came into Rivendell ten days ago that Gandalf wanted me to go to Bree. Nobody there trusts me, however Gandalf mentioned that it was very important and that I would find it very interesting. He asked me to pick up two hobbits. Hobbits! Halflings! Hoblyta! Pheriannath! What are they in the stories of old? They however have the stubbornness of dwarfs, which may turn out to be some good. The food around them however is excellent. I think in the end, there will be some good in knowing hobbits, but for now the reason is hidden to me. So here I am, sitting at a table in the Prancing Pony, observing a group of four weather stained hobbits coming from the Shire. What? That one!! His name is Baggins!! Baggins? As in Bilbo? And by the Valar, he's disappeared! Must go attend to important matters. I shall write again when convenient.  
  
The hobbits are sleeping now.The Nazgul are coming. I managed to win their trust, though I think the hobbit called Sam still mistrusts me. I managed to persuade them to sleep in a different room though. I must stop writing for I don't want the hobbits to find this diary. I want to keep this secret.  
  
I MUST STOP THINKING ABOUT ARWEN!! I have a feeling she's got something up that too-wide sleeve of hers.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you. 


	2. Nazgul ruin everything Lord Elrond will ...

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September 30th 3018,  
  
The Nazgul attacked last night, waking the Hobbits up. I was already up and explained who and what the Nazgul were. I really do NOT wish to preach that lesson again. We left today, after the hobbits had what they call a 'light' breakfast. When we left I heard a voice inside my head. It said, " I dû na dûr, i men na sollen." (The night is dark, the way is shut.) It must be the Nazgul, trying to coax me to give up the Halflings. As long as I remain Estel, son of Elrond however, I must do as one of the house of Elrond. 'You must never give in unwillingly without a fight.' But what if you are outnumbered five to one? Elrond's lessons never covered that. We'll be traveling through the Midgewater Marshes soon; the hobbits need their rest. I do too, but something is keeping me awake. It woke Frodo up too, a little while ago. Then again, it probably was my singing. Elrond always told me I sounded like a wounded orc when sang. But I was singing the Lay of Luthien! A very noble piece! Must work on that. I have to sleep now, if I don't get to Rivendell alive, woe be the person who has to tell Ada.  
  
October 2nd, 3018  
  
Hobbits are very comical creatures, you know that? Like today, the two younger hobbits, Merry and Pippin began unpacking in mid-day! I told them that we did not stop until nightfall and they got really ticked off at me, they wanted breakfast. No, I'm sorry, they wanted second breakfast. HOW much can these hobbits eat?? So I just tossed them a couple apples. I think I got the message through, one of the apples hit Pippin on the head. A good shot, I thought to myself as I threw that. We'll be camping atop the Watchtower of Amon Sûl two nights from now. It'll be glorious to sleep under the stars again and have a nice breeze in your face. But I must put business first. That'll be the most likely place for those bl**dy Nazgul to attack us, I just might stage a little something. You know, heroic moves, flame and sword, that type of thing. I've been dying to try out that thing Legolas taught me where you spin a object and it goes wheeee, and hits your target so hard, that they cry in pain, or scamper in shock. But if it misses them, they do not scamper immediately because they are still shocked. Then they come to their senses a few seconds later, and they try to escape, but find conveniently that the path is blocked by---YOU! I wonder where he learnt that?  
  
October 5th, 3018  
  
Why can't hobbits ever learn to LISTEN! Yes, I got to do my cool little trick, Legolas taught me. Yes, I overcame all obstacles. Yes, everybody was brave. BUT. But. that hobbit Frodo needs to learn some lessons. He put the ring on, IN FRONT OF THE NAZGUL!!! Then after he did that they stabbed him. He's not going to live very long. If we don't get him to Rivendell in five days we'll have to abandon him and take the ring. I really don't wish to do that, I've grown attached to all the hobbits. We're on the road, it's my turn to carry the load, which consists of a hobbit in pain. Have to go now, must escort hobbits safely to Rivendell or Elrond will have my head, family or not.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you. A/N: Every 25 reviews I will post two chapters next time instead of the usual one. 


	3. ARWEN, Council, Boromir, and ARWEN!

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October 18, 3018,  
  
Arwen!! She just showed up a couple minutes ago. I must be floating in a dream. She asked me about my diary. How did she know? She said that I must have not used it lately. She said it had dust on it. Elves! How can they be so good? How did she know?? They pay attention to every detail. SHE USED MY MOVE!! I'm the one who showed her how to approach people and stick swords up their throats. That was my move I used on Elladan and Elrohir. It was MINE! And she wants to take Frodo to Rivendell alone. With nine Nazgul following her? At least she has enough sense to ask her brother first, even if I'm not older. I said she could go, I know what is at stake. Good thing too, otherwise I would have never let her go. I would have kept her here, just the two of us. *sigh* I must put work in front of other things. Have to go, must keep the hobbits from overeating.  
  
October 24, 3018,  
  
I made it to Rivendell a couple of days ago with the rest of the Hobbits. I plan to catch up on my lessons today. Elrond insists on teaching me until I am hundred, or King, whichever one comes first. I think I'll become King first. Something grand and wonderful is nearing, I can feel it in the air, and my bones. Well today is a light lesson, just a couple of books he wants me to read. I think I'll sit in the sword room and read them. I met a man today. He was overall rather decent, except he paid no attention and gave no respect to the Kings of Old. How could he? But I kept my temper, like a good boy, or Elrond would throw me out of the house. And then, as soon as he left, Arwen came along, and dragged me to that bridge place where we first met. We had lots of fun. *wink, wink, grin, grin, giggle* She gave me the Evenstar. I always liked that necklace, er, sorry, no, pendant. It's a pendant. And his Lord Elrond, *blast him, can't he give people some time by themselves?* wants me to attend some secret council tomorrow. Secret? He's blasting it out to all of Rivendell, I think.  
  
October 25, 3018,  
  
Went to joyous bloody council today, oh happy me. I saw that man again, that one I saw yesterday. His name is Boromir, he's the son of the Steward, Lord Denethor. *Steward. Steward, remember, not King* I saw Legolas too, he seems to be getting old. It only been one *elf* year since I saw him last and that was when I was about 36. *Now we all know why elves live so long and stay do young* I also met Gimli. He seems okay, a rather comical person really. He's always there to lend a helping hand. He's a dwarf. You can tell that easily. It's the beards. Elves don't have them, and as for men, well, no comment. I've been roped into leaving for Mordor, should be fun. Lots of orcs, and evil creatures to defeat on the way. Yipee!! But I'll have to leave Arwen. I really don't wish to, with my 90th birthday coming up, the Valar knows how long this venture will take. But I'm going, all four hobbits are going *Goodness knows how* Gandalf's going, Gimli's going, Legolas' is going, and Boromir is going. I didn't want Boromir to come but he did his "If this is the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done." Blast Gondor!! Why can't we all unite peacefully under one banner, under one stinking King!! Must go now, have to pack, and have to say bye to Gilraen. I really miss her.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you. Let's all sing the review song! *Cheesekakke sings review song, and others all back away, scared of what Cheesekakke will do next.* 


	4. Hi, Aragorn, NO, Arwen, No, Aragorn agai...

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November 27th 3018,  
  
I kind of lost this diary. Nothing much is happening in Rivendell. We'll be leaving on the 25th of December. We had about two months break before we left. Good thing too, I might never see Arwen again. Elrond told me that she is leaving for the Undying Lands. Good, I wanted her to go there. I'll go there too, someday, and then our souls will be reunited. I went to see the grave of my mother today. She gave her life up for me, I will never forget it. I will always follow my heart, for it contains the souls of all those who love and would die for me. Lord Elrond is NOT one of them. He would watch his foster son die and never raise a finger. He would say it is the doom of Men, all Men are to die, it's not my fault he died so young for his race. Blast his Lordship!! There will probably never be a day that I will actually be happy to see him. Have to go now, Elrond's holding a big feast, Elladan and Elrohir are back from their little adventure in Mirkwood. I dearly wish to see them.  
  
December 17th 3018,  
  
Psst! Aragorn has no idea that I'm reading this and he would kill me if he knew, he likes to keep secrets. I just wanted to write him a little note saying HI ARAGORN!! I'M OVER HERE READING YOUR DIARY ON THE BRIDGE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT AND YOU CAN'T SEE ME!!!!!!!!! He has Elvish hearing and Elvish sight and Elvish looks, but he never got those wonderful Elvish brains. Yes, I insulted you Aragorn, and I just wanted to tell you, I love you, and I will steal away from the boats to follow you. Are you happy now? Make sure you kill a couple of orcs for me. I always wanted to do that, Ada never let me. When he goes away, the two of us are going to go orc hunting together and we shall DESTROY orcs!! Though there might not be any left. Bye bye, you archer, swordsperson, and man who can never stop showing off. My love to you is Undying.  
  
- - - - - Arwen  
  
December 25th, 3018,  
  
Elrond is choosing pretty days to start out on. Like today, a wonderful, clear day, with brilliant weather, and clear skies. I SHALL ROAST ARWEN!!!!! She got into my private diary! How did she do that?? We're all packing now, Boromir is complaining about not being able to bring all his things. He had to leave behind some cloaks and boots!! I have lost countless pairs of boots and cloaks and gloves and what not, and I have not complained even once!! He needs professional help. The hobbits are having a good time here, it is sad to see them leave. I see Bilbo has given Frodo Sting. I wonder whatever happened to that wonderful mithril coat? I have to say good bye to Arwen, I do not really wish to, but my path is to go with Frodo, and my heart tells me to go that way to. I don't feel like writing anymore. I don't wish to wet the pages.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
If you are enjoying this little story, then I suggest you read my other one, The Evenstar. I am also working on a little story called Guys Night Out, please read that when you have a chance.  
  
This week, until the 25th of January, I have more exams than I can count on one hand. As a result, I am posting two chapters to all my stories and a new short one called Guys Night Out. After all my tests are over, I shall continue regularly.  
  
I am thinking ahead, and am sorely tempted to put some things not in the movies but in the books. If you come across anything confusing, please tell me that in your reviews, and I shall try to explain it best to you next time I update. 


	5. Fellowship travels, Legolas needs help

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January 9th, 3019,  
  
We're right below the Misty Mountains, we cross them in a weeks time. We're all having tons of fun, Boromir is teaching Merry and Pippin how to fight, Frodo is staring off into the distance, Sam is cooking, Gandalf is thinking, Gimli is smoking, I am smoking and writing in my diary. Oh yeah, Legolas is keeping an eye out for any evil. I would suspect some Crebain from Dunland coming. I bet Saruman wished to keep tabs on what we are doing. Pippin, (or is it Merry?) has knocked Boromir down, and all of them are on top of each other, looks like a friendly scuffle, I wish to join. OOOF!! Hobbits!!! They are strong, I just got knocked down by one of them. Legolas is hollering for us to hide, must go and obey the princeling's wishes.  
  
January 12th, 3019,  
  
Bloody damn snow!!! I'm freezing to bits here, so is everybody else except Legolas, he can walk on the freaking snow!! Damn him!! There is a foul voice on the winds, must be Saruman's, he wants us to fail. FREAK!!! The Heir of Isildur does not give up so easily, you have to fight to get past my land!! I don't think we can continue this way, the cliff is collapsing. And we have the glorious debut of Gandalf the Predictable. He wants somebody to make the choice whether we should go through Moria, and he gave the choice to Frodo!! I could decide way better than him. I would have chosen to stay here and freeze up than go through that hellhole of a mine. Anyway, I must go on, Frodo's choice is one that counts.  
  
January 14th, 3019,  
  
Well this turned out to be very nice, we just found out Gimli's uncle (or great-uncle) died, and we are the only living GOOD creatures in Moria. Gandalf is reading from some dumb diary, and Pippin is getting in trouble, must go try to stop him, notice the word try. And glorious, he just knocked over some junk. Well, we shall have goblins, and ocrs and, bloody Valar, Sting has turned blue!!! I must go fight for the Fellowship now, otherwise it's the noose for all of us, a short drop and a sudden stop. I think that's the orcs preferred way of execution. The other one is the clean head chop. Have to go and save the lives of the people, and elves, and dwarves, and Istari, and hobbits here, I swore to protect them or die.  
  
January 18th, 3019,  
  
I apologize for not writing in my beloved diary for so long.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
I really hope I got the quotation from PotC right, if I didn't just tell me. 


	6. Gandalf dies, Lothlorien, I HATE HALDIR'...

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January 16th, 3019,  
  
We're all having fun, running around green fields. I found out Gimli can't run and the hobbits take too long. Then again, I bet they just want to chill and enjoy the greenery after getting out of Moria and Khazad- Dum and the Balrog. Balrog. Balrog? What does that remind me of? Oh yeah! Gandalf died yesterday and I told the hobbits and Boromir to get a move on. They were wasting too much time. Then again, I have spent 60 years with this guy. Not everybody can be as lucky as me. I want to reach Riven-, no, Lothlorien by tomorrow. I wish I could go to Rivendell. Gandalf told me I could never return unless I became King. Gandalf. I really don't miss him. Some people don't trust me. They say I make bad leader. And who are they going to replace me with. Brainless Boromir? Looks-obsessed Leggy? Grunting Gimli? And not the Half-wit Hobbits, oh no. NOT the Half-wit Hobbits.  
  
January 18th, 3019,  
  
I miss Gandalf! The elves are singing a really nice song about him, I want to cry, but I have to be serious. Legolas is REALLY happy, he's dressed nice and his hair is combed. I also think I need a bath. And I need to comb my hair. But Arwen liked me better with dirty hair and stubble, she liked to feel that roughness against her cheek. The hobbits are out exploring, I bet Galadriel wants to tell Frodo something. SHE READ RIGHT THROUGH ME!! She read my mind like and open book, turning the pages of my life. *grunt* I don't know where Boromir is, he's probably getting into trouble. I must wake Gimli up and get Boromir out of trouble. The Heir of Isildur, always saving the day.  
  
Oh yeah, I have to watch my back here. Haldir hates me now, he's bound to catch me doing something that I don't want known and tell Arwen.  
  
Though what he might catch me doing, I have NO idea.  
  
February 2nd, 3019,  
  
I think Galadriel wants to keep us here. I bet she has a lot to tell Frodo. I'm keeping Boromir out of trouble pretty well, and I finally took the liberty to shave and wash my hair. Haldir is running around, trying to frame me, I must loose a couple of my arrows in his shoulders, that should stop him pretty bad. He is so annoying!! There is no way, no how, when I die, I will miss him. He challenged my authority in front of everybody!! And then Gimli insulted him really bad, so I had to stop him. I can't wait till we leave. I want to get to the Falls of Rauros but the end of March. But if Galadriel wants us to stay, I can't help that. BLAST STINKING ELVES!!! Then again, I'm half elf. I MISS GANDALF!! He's half-elf too, and he's and Istari. I can't help thinking he's got something up his sleeve.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
I did not mean to turn Aragorn into a hobbit-fancier. He's really cool in the books, they just dented him in the movies. Notice the word dented, not completely destroyed. I like him better in the movies actually. 


	7. No more Haldir, no more Boromir either

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February 16th, 3019,  
  
We leave this place!! I am absolutely overjoyed!! Bring your ugly face to my pretty sword!! Death to orcs!! Galadriel was really nice, she gave us all gifts. Celeborn gave me a pretty knife and advice. Galadriel gave me a pretty cloak, lembas, and advice. Legolas got a new bow. That's not fair!! I wanted a new bow. The hobbits and Boromir got daggers, and Sam got some rope. Frodo got the Star of Elendil, that phial thingie which gives light. That's rightfully mine. Grrrrrr. I have no idea what Gimli got, he's telling no one. Except Legolas. Ironic isn't it? Legolas' father tortured Gimli's father, and the two of them are best friends! I can't wait to get to Amon Hen, it's the perfect place for the orcs to attack us, I like hunting orc.  
  
February 23rd, 3019,  
  
YAH!! ORCS!!!!!!! But the bad part was after we finished dealing with the orcs, Boromir, yes that blasted nutcase Boromir, was soooo rude to me today, he told me I was scared of who I was, what I was. How can one be scared of yourself?? I'm really confused. I think I saw Gollum today, nasty slinking creature. Though believe he has his part to play before the end. I must keep the fellowship together, if I don't I don't want to think about what happened. I'm going to sleep now, I bet I'll need my energy to defeat more orcs. I smell them on the wind.  
  
I misplaced the Evenstar!! Oh, here it is, on my neck. Whoops.  
  
February 26th, 3019,  
  
Boromir died today, Merry and Pippin were captured, Frodo and Sam have left for Mordor, and I'm a failure. I let the Fellowship fail. I'm thinking of suicide. But I've got a duty to do, so Legolas Gimli and I are going to HUNT SOME ORC!!  
  
I do not like my live.  
  
I do not like my life.  
  
I do not like my life.  
  
I do not like my life.  
  
ORCS!!! DEAD ORCS!! I love my life.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
Thank you all for bearing with me and waiting for updates!! Here you are! I'm working on a nice long fat chapter for The Evenstar, and a sequel to Guy's Night Out (because ya'll loved it so much) Gals Night Out. Cheers! 


	8. Eomer, Gandalf is backie, Edoras HERE I ...

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February 28th, 3019,  
  
The orcs are actually proving to be quite a challenge. They are moving really fast and constantly changing direction. I just spent half an hour with my ear to the ground, trying to listen. I wonder what Frodo is doing now. It would be nice if I had a palantir to see them in. One of them is rightfully mine anyway. But I am bereft of it, like everything else that is MINE! But the cool thing about this little mission is that I'm finding out exactly how much fun a dwarf and elf can be! Gimli is soooooo funny, he boosts my spirits when they're plonk. And Legolas isn't really reacting, just grinning and carrying on, looking with those eyes. HEY! I got them too you know! It's just that my eyes can see a bit into the future, and his can see ahead. So, I'm just stuck out on here, with an elf, a dwarf and my Ranger smile. I like my smile!! My smile is awesome. Legolas just thinks his smile is sooooo cool kool kewl. That's because all the girls rush to him when he smiles. NOT FAIR!! I'm the ladies man here. Not the crazy elf prince from Mirkwood. Must keep going, I have ORCS TO HUNT!!  
  
February 30th, 3019,  
  
I met the Riders of Rohan today. They were really nice. Except the only part I did not like about them was  
  
a) They stuck their weapons up our throats the before they let us talk.  
  
b) I have really, really, really good reason to believe that they killed Merry and Pippin, along with the orcs, right outside Fangorn Forest.  
  
Those orcs were mine to kill and they came along and killed them!! SO NOT FAIR!! But I like Eomer though. He's pretty cool. He gave me horses, that puts him in my book diary of people that count as human. He says he's going to Edoras. Maybe when I clear up the Merry and Pippin thing, I'll go there too. Someday. Someday.  
  
Wonder if there are any cute girls at Edoras? NOT that I'm eligible mind you.it's just a thought.  
  
One that Arwen would kill me for thinking.  
  
I really hope she doesn't find this.  
  
Or I'm dead meat.  
  
March 1st, 3019,  
  
Oh. My. Holy. Valar. GANDALF IS ALIVE AGAIN!!  
  
Except this time he's Gandalf the White instead of Grey. I'm so happy I could run up and hug everyone in sight!! YES!! Score! Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh. Yes!! And Gandalf says we can ride to Edoras!! Yes! Lets all go to Edoras. But he says we have some serious business to do in Edoras. I don't think so. I just hope they have some good inns there. Inns. Inns. Inns. Aragorn loves innssess. Nice innssess. Fresh, tasty, juicy inssess! Happiness is here!!  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
Okay.here you are. These are my other fanfics, just as entertaining as this one. I'm still not done with the Evenstar, and look for the thrilling conclusion to the Night Out trilogy, Royalties Night Out!!  
  
The Evenstar:   
  
Guys Night Out:   
  
Gals Night Out: 


	9. Edoras! And blondes

Disclaimer: I own nothing. WAAAH!  
  
OH! Please do check out my other LotR fanfics. Just click on the little button that says Cheesekakke above this, and scroll down. READ!!  
  
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March 2nd, 3019,  
  
Well, this is awesome!! No really, I'm not being sarcastic, it's fun!! You see, the door people to the Golden Hall of Edoras made us give up our weapons. And Gandalf, being Gandalf, held onto his staff, and persuaded them he needed it to walk. Yeah right. So I had to give up all my stuffs, and Legolas did too, took him longer than all of us put together. And we walked in the Hall. It was a pretty hall, very colorful. And there was the dude dressed in black (messing up the ambiance of the hall if you ask me) who was really mean to us, he told us to go away. But Gandalf, being Gandalf, put his spell thingie on the King (who's ancient.hard to believe I'm older then him and Legolas is too, and Gimli) and jerked him out of this Saruman trance. But, we had to protect Gandalf to make sure no one came in his way while he was performing the spell, so we knocked out all the hall people with no swords. And Legolas showed me this cool trick he did in Moria where you surprise your enemy with a backhand! And Gimli trapped the black guy, his name is Wormtounge. Gandalf freed King Theoden, and Theoden was super stubborn, he said he would not go to war, even though war was upon him. Kings! They're oh so stubborn, and they're into the *what's best for our weak and ailing people* I'll never be like that. And Gandalf is riding away.he told me to meet him at Helm's Deep. Oh! So we are going to war!  
  
Sadly, there are no cute girls here. But one of them, Eowyn, seems to like me. Shall flirt with her in usual fashion.  
  
Morning of March 3rd, 3019,  
  
Theod- King Theoden got all the Rohirrim up this morning. We're heading to Helm's Deep. Legolas says there going to be a battle on the way. How in the name of Valar does he figure these things out? My flirting with the blonde (that's Eowyn) is going quite well, I shall try to pass out on the way to Helm's Deep- that should get her attention. But I will not be weak, I shall wake up and plunge straight into the forthcoming battle. She won't be allowed to fight, she's pretty good with a sword, but she is a girl after all. Wormtounge has been banished, and I am so worried about Merry and Pippin. I hope they're all right. Anyway, must see to the horses. Rohan does mean Land of Horses after all.  
  
I remember Arwen gave me a horse called Roheryn. Maybe that's where this came from.  
  
Arwen.  
  
Arwen.  
  
Ar- blast it! Can't get that blonde off my mind.  
  
Evening of March 3rd, 3019,  
  
Well, I just have to say that Legolas and I predicted quite well. There was a battle on the way to Helm's Deep. And I finally stopped thinking about Arwen, but that blonde asked about my necklace *my pretty, pretty necklace* And then I kinda had no idea what happened, some sort of dream thing. I thought I had passed out, I was in total bliss. But Eowyn told me no, I had not passed out. And as soon as she said that, I heard Legolas screech something about orcs and wargs so I ran ahead. It was a fun, messy, bloody battle. I got VERY badly injured, and fell into a river *my kind has a thing for floating in rivers unconscious or dead* I almost lost the Evenstar too, but Legolas gave it back to me at Helm's Deep. So here I am, sitting here smoking, waiting on the edge of a battle I cannot escape.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
I did not mean for this chapter to go this way, I think Aragorn is finally affecting my thoughts. I have not reached my goal of 60 reviews by the end of January, I am about 20 off ((((. So please review, I will dance on the rooftop. And thanks to all of you who have reviewed well! 


	10. Helm's Deep and the meaning of the word ...

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OH! Please do check out my other LotR fanfics. Just click on the little button that says Cheesekakke above this, and scroll down. READ!!  
  
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The Battle of March 3rd, 3019,  
  
Just getting ready for *drum roll please* the Battle of Helm's Deep. Haldir showed up a few minutes ago, I ran into his arms and gave him a big hug *see! I am NOT a hobbit-fancier* I'm actually quite happy, fighting alongside elves once more. I actually like ordering people around in Elvish, makes me feel at home, *and them probably too* 10,000 orcs!!!! I'm gonna enjoy this. But I have to be the conservative leader, not fair that Leggy and Gimli get all the fun. Have to go now, must order elves and men (and dwarf) around.  
  
The (really, really early) Morning of March 4th, 3019,  
  
Whew!! What a night. A BRIEF! summary of what I did last night-  
  
1. Tossed Gimli around.  
  
2. Watched Legolas slide down stairs on a shield (how come he gets all the cool stunts?)  
  
3. Yelled a lot.  
  
4. Charged out the front gate obliviating all orcs in my path.  
  
5. Saw Gandalf charge into Helm's Deep with the sunrise.  
  
6. Yelled some more.  
  
So Gandalf's back, we defeated the orcs, and the sun is just up. And now, what we have left to do today and tomorrow-  
  
1. Scream at Saruman  
  
2. Show myself to the public  
  
3. Rescue MY palantir.  
  
4. Give Saruman a headache.  
  
5. Improve my vocabulary.  
  
6. SCREAM AT SAURUMAN!  
  
Well, must go now, must cross half of Rohan.  
  
March 5th, 3019,  
  
Okay, I finally have some time to do this. I didn't really get to do the things on the list, Gandalf did most of the talking, and it was to Treebeard only. We found Merry and Pippin, and Pippin picked up MY palantir and looked into it, I had to save him from it. So Gandalf rode off with Pippin to Minas Tirith, MY city, on top of Shadowfax soon to be MY horse if I become King. And Eowyn came to ME saying I should be there and marry her *fat chance*. I left her weeping, I feel kinda bad. I should go sit on MY rear, and wait for MY signal which tells ME to get off MY rear and move MYself to Minas Tirith, MY city.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
REVIEW!! I want to get 50 (lowered my goal) by the 1st of Feb. And please read my other fanfics and review too, it'll break my heart (and I won't write) if you don't. I know this story with 400 reviews on the ninth chapter. I don't expect that, but 30 would be nice! 


	11. Halabrad and the Paths of the Dead

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OH! Please do check out my other LotR fanfics. Just click on the little button that says Cheesekakke above this, and scroll down. READ!!  
  
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March 6th, 3019,  
  
I'm all alone now. Theoden has left for the other place, Dunharrow the big gathering place of the Rohirrim. Eomer gave me a Rohannish (is that a word?) name today, it was Wingfoot. Wingfoot. I should add that to my list of names on the front. Anyway, I just met up with the last of my kin, Halabrad and his worthy troupe of brave and noble men. We are heading to Dunharrow to give KING Theoden the good news, that he has more Dunedain on his side. That should keep him content for now, he's doing his 'We should not go to war. It will be the death of the hobbits!" Like he really cares about the hobbits, he just wants to live. Ah, life. What a glorious thing. I'm gonna have to put this book away for now, Legolas is staring at me curiously, and seeming quite content. I wonder if elves have x-ray eyes. As for the other possibility, I don't want to go there. I really don't want to go there.  
  
Are all elves like that? Gay, I mean? Woohooo! I found out that all elves are like that.  
  
Wait, that cant be a good thing, I'm part elf. Aw, rats. Can't call Leggy names.  
  
Evening of March 7th, 3019,  
  
We just reached Dunharrow, looks like Theoden didn't need all that help, about 4,000 men. Wow. If we had that many in the Dunedain, I could retire early! But shame, we don't, so I must be very careful. Well actually, he had a messenger send that, he's off to war. WAR!! Orcssiess!! And he's left me at Dunharrow. Actually, the real reason Halabrad came was that he said I should go through the paths of the dead. He gave me the Standard of Arwen too, to wave in front of the dead people to show them I am the heir of Isildur. I mean anyone could sneak into Rivendell and pilfer Anduril. Seeing that Arwen comes and goes as she pleases and Elrond doesn't notice.  
  
Daybreak of March 8th, 3019,  
  
I can't believe it!! Elrond has been screaming in my ears ever since I've been traveling not to go to the Paths of the Dead!! And where am I now? Yep, The Paths of the Dead. It's not like I lack company though, I've got Legolas, Gimli, Halabrad, and the other men who came with Halabrad. Oh, and Eowyn tried to come with me, but I said no, and I told her that she will have a glorious life if she did not go. She then broke down crying and went away. I feel kinda bad. After all, if my foresight is correct, she will be one of my subjects one day.  
  
We just defeated some Elvish Wights, they were trying to stop us from getting to the door. And Gimli is grumbling something like this, "An Elf will go Underground when a Dwarf dare not? Well this is unheard of!" I just love their company. Well, seeing as the doors are here, I must enter and leave all feelings behind.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s):  
  
I'm sorry I haven't written for so long, I am one of the busiest people you could know. But since the school year is winding down, I will have a lot of things off my mind and will be able to update regularly. Thank you! 


	12. Ships, I hate sailing

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OH! Please do check out my other LotR fanfics. Just click on the little button that says Cheesekakke above this, and scroll down. READ!!  
  
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March 10, 3019,  
  
The last couple days have been travel, stop, show the Staff of Arwen, get oohed and aahed, sleep eat, travel, stop etc. I did manage to overcome the Paths of the Dead; I have to congratulate myself on doing that. The shadow-king was very stubborn he was all mean and wanted to kill us, but I showed him Anduril and he was like, 'Oh, my god. You're the heir of Isildur!! I must bow down to your wishes.' Well, he wasn't all that gracious, I had to fight with him a little, but in the end he gave in. And right now, I am so bloody tired it's been travel, travel, travel all day. I have a measly headache and my stomach hurts, and ugggh. Curse Legolas who doesn't have to suffer headaches or stomachaches or any beastly disease or sickness. I wanna drive my hunting knife into his throat and make him give up his powers to his younger more needy umm, brother? Or is it cousin or nephew? Nah, I don't care at this point. Oh, and I am sleep deprived. REALLY sleep deprived. I wonder what Gandalf would do if he was here. Probably ask me to go drench my head. drench Okay, I feel much better. Thank you Gandalf! And if you're dead, let that thanks go with you to the Undying Lands. My god, I'm so lame. The future king and ruler of the land is sitting here, complaining to a piece of paper. Jeez, what is this world coming to?  
  
Morning of March 15, 3019,  
  
Somebody kindly remind me what I am doing here. I am sitting on this blasted boat, waiting for the sun to rise, so we can bloody get out of here!! Last night Legolas and I crept up on the corsairs, and single- handedly, (actually, 15 hands, Gimli and some of the Rangers helped too, Aransir has only one hand) killed all of them and took over their boats. Legolas suggested we wait for the sun to rise to we can actually see before sailing to Gondor. Thank you, Mr. Obvious. I wonder what's happening in the outside world. I know people are fighting, and that at least one Rohirrim must die soon, and Gandalf is in Minas Tirith, wait he is? Oh, never mind. Today I feel, is a day of war, of suffering, and of anguish, a day in which men shall win renown! It is a day in which not only man shall take part in war, hobbits as well! (among other things, Oliphaunts, orcs, that goblin/thing hybrid, and women.) DAMN!! I just feel so horrible, waiting on the edge of a battle I can't escape. I just wish now I was safe in Rivendell with a nice cup of ale.  
  
Evening of March 15, 3019,  
  
Brief highlights of the eventful day.  
  
– Fire!  
  
– Fire!  
  
– Run!  
  
– Stay! – ROOOARGH!  
  
– Ha!  
  
– Look, Oliphaunt!  
  
– EEUARGH!  
  
– AAAAAAAH!!  
  
– Yummy, king meat.  
  
– Back and die, dog!  
  
– Noooo!  
  
– I am no man!  
  
– Kill me!  
  
– YOU!  
  
– Orlando Bloom on a pirate ship with a bunch of ghost things...wait, that's old.  
  
– BLEAUURGH! sticks tounge out  
  
- Bye bye, bad guy.  
  
- 55% of people outside city collapse  
  
- Handy these lads are...don't GO!  
  
I think that's it. Eowyn, Merry and Faramir are in the Houses of Healing, I am about to go to the meeting in which we decide what to do, and well, erm then I get to go heal them!!  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s): The chocolate took hold of my brain and told me to sleep for sometime. I will be finishing this before I go on vacation in two weeks so, thank you for staying and bearing with me! 


	13. Steppin' forward to Mordor

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OH! Please do check out my other LotR fanfics. Just click on the little button that says Cheesekakke above this, and scroll down. READ!!  
  
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Early, early morning of March 16, 3019,  
  
So, I was summoned to the Houses of Healing this eve. That was kinda freaky, Ioreth made me feel bad, trying to tell me I was stupid and didn't know anything. I mean, she called athelas kingsfoil!! Which educated person would do that? She obviously doesn't have a Harvard degree in herbology. Oh, Eowyn seriously needs to go to the Gap of Rohan; those pants are soo, NOT designer. And Faramir was a cool patient, he was super servanty, yes, my lord, no, my lord, piss in a pan, my lord. I had to breathe on the athelas and stick it in water to make it work. I feel sorry for those poor plants having to endure my stinky breath and a scalding swim all in the same day. I stuck it (the plant) on everyone's forehead (nothing compared to mine...people usually kill for my sexy forehead) and made sure they took the fumes in. I called Faramir out his slumber thingie in the border between life and death, Eomer called Eowyn out of the thingie, and Pippin got to make his foolish self-useful and call out Merry out of his stupor. Merry wanted food the moment he woke, I was surprised. note the sarcasm And then he wanted a pipe, then went all weepy, and said that the last thing he spoke to Theoden about was pipe-leaf. Oh, Theoden died yesterday along with some of Gondor and Rohan's armies. He was kewl, even though he defied my kingship and trustworthiness of the Gondorians more than allowed when speaking to such a man. (myself) We plan to have a little council later today, trying to figure out what to do in such dark, and deep and evil times. I have a strong feeling that this little quest is gonna turn out wicked! I also figured (using my brilliant fore-sighted-ness) that war is raging in Lothlorien and Mirkwood, I think. See, that's the problem with having this gift, you never know if you can trust it. And if you can't trust your own disturbing visions...what can you trust?!? Oh, I had a funky vision of the Evenstar breaking. Isn't mithril supposed to be virtually unbreakable? Like that coat of Frodo's? I wonder what happened to it, I think he took it, and then he could be captured, and all hope lost. Wait...I'm hope!! That means when people say there is no blinking hope, they mean I don't exist!?! checks FotR, TTT and RotK script. Hey, wait, that's practically everyone. Except for Legolas strokes Legolas action figure Might as well head to the debate council thingie, all us new kings and rulers shall have to get adjusted.  
  
Evening of March 16, 3019,  
  
A diversion! That's all he can say!! throws Legolas plastic action figure mentioned in previous entry into the fire where the plastic burns quickly While I was standing there, trying to exercise regal vocabulary, the Prince of Mirkwood, had to paraphrase my whole fancy explanation into two short words. A-diversion!!! Anyway, we came to a conclusion that we had to divert Sauron's attention from the Ring and Frodo to us. Ever since we (I) let those ghost people go (at the Fields, Gimli was right, very handy in a tight spot these lads are indeed!) we are sorely lacking in numbers to hold all other hostilities at bay. So we are gathering troops, (I can bet my future crown that Sauron is too) to meet the army in war to distract HIM! I'm probably gonna die, and then He's gonna find Frodo and take over Middle-Earth, but I won't care 'cause I'll be dead!! evil laugh But Gandalf the White had to point out that Sauron is the smartest villain after the birth of evil, Morgoth himself (and with good reason, Sauron was Morgoth's servant) and he might not take the bait. But I was positive and all for it, like Legolas and Eomer and Gimli. Well, Gimli had a strange view on it. "Certainty of death! Small chance of success! What are we waiting for?!" Yeah Gimli! Give 'em blood n'vinegar! We'll be sending the message out to the troops tonight, and we expect to be at the Black Gates by the 25th of March. I do hope everything turns out all right and it's all kewl and awesome, and happy.  
  
March 21, 3019,  
  
So, I was like, whoa. And then Leggy was like, whoa. And then Eomer was like, whoa! I've never actually seen the Black Gates, but they're definitely on the, 'Sights to see in Middle-Earth' list, even if it is for evil. The evil gates are in plain view right now, and I think it's going to take at least another 3 days to cross this mountainy terrain. I really hope that, this turns out all right, because if it doesn't, Elrond will make sure that there's Mordor to pay! I can't write right now, I have to make the two hobbits (who brought them along?) don't get into any trouble.  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s): The chocolate took hold of my brain and told me to sleep for sometime. I will be finishing this before I go on vacation in two weeks so, thank you for staying and bearing with me! 


	14. The End of All things: Part 1

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OH! Please do check out my other LotR fanfics. Just click on the little button that says Cheesekakke above this, and scroll down. READ!!  
  
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Morning of March 25, 3019,  
  
Life is not good. Our little group (nicknamed 'The Host') caught sight of the ground upon which the Black Gates stands today. And, I swear, if committing suicide were an option, I would be taking it. It's so BIG! And I can hear eternal thundering from behind it, I was right. Mr. Sauron is indeed gathering an army. So we're just standing here, all quiet, no one is talking; I just bet they expect me to do something. I'm just as human as they are; they go up and ask Mr. Sauron for a time slot in his appointments! Might as well go do something, it at least is better than doing nothing.  
  
(Harry Potter shows up and casts a Cheering Charm on Aragorn and their troops.)  
  
All right!! Let's hunt some ORC! Wohoo! Orc flesh!! (runs toward Black Gates with the troops following happily. Legolas is still skeptical, the charm didn't affect him.)  
  
Sometime during the day of March 25, 3019,  
  
I lost track of time. All I can say is that Mordor just collapsed around me. I mean there was this ROAR! And then this CRASH! And then the Barad-Dur went BOOM! And the ground underneath the _yrch _feet went SLAP!  
  
(time lapse) So I walked to the gate and said, "The Lord of the Black land, stand forth!" or something like that. So after what seemed like ages to the hobbits, but only a second to Legolas, the Gates opened and this rat stepped out. I mean, he looked like a rat, he definitely wasn't a rat, but the point was that he looked like one. And, (this is the preposterous thing, Gimli swore to murder him single-handedly) he was holding the mail coat of mithril!!! Get your filthy stinking hands off it; it's not yours to hump!! So then he asked us whom these belonged to and then, reading the expression on Gandalf's face, went back inside with a smug look. (strangles imaginary neck in mid-air)  
  
So I gave this fancy speech (I'll put it at the bottom of this entry, I don't want to disrupt the story line) and then, when all was quiet, I dismounted my horse, turned around at he troops and said, "For Frodo" (Aragorn fangirls faint) and then I ran towards the troops and then, (this is funny) Merry and Pippin came running after me, just the two of them, in all their warring glory. (I wonder if someone caught that on tape.) and then all of us (meaning the noble people and the armies ran to wards the gates like a Warg on a hunt (Or like me when I see evil _yrch_. But which _yrch_ aren't evil?) And then the Lord (well, more like the Lord's eye) came down and was whispering, "Aragorn, Elssar". That really freaked me out, so I stared back at him, trying to fall back on the phrase 'If Looks Could Kill.' But no can beat the Lord of the Black land at that game, so I gave up. And then, this huge troll came and tried to squash my intestines out.  
  
But, Frodo's timing was great; he destroyed the Ring and made mincemeat of the troll and the _yrch _right before the evil beast was about to squash me into jelly. So, then, when we wanted to rejoice and cheer, 'The Ring is Gone!' Gandalf realized that there was lava coming out of Mount Doom, and the hobbits would be deep fried if we didn't do something fast. So Gandalf went with the eagles and got the two hobbits safely back, but Frodo lost a finger. And now, we're too tired to go back to Minas Tirith, and just. (snore)  
  
(wakes up abruptly) Oh, yeah, I wanted to tell you my sexy speech. Here goes:  
  
"Sons of Gondor, of Rohan. My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come, when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of Fellowship, but it is not this day! An hour of woes and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you, stand, Men of the West!"  
  
Of course it was way better than that, I said it with more pomp and vigor that could never be expressed in writing.  
  
April 1, 3019,  
  
And thus it was: the Fourth Age of Middle-Earth began; and the Fellowship of the Ring, eternally bound by friendship and love, was not YET ended.  
  
I mean, how can it end! Frodo and Sam still haven't woken up! Well, I guess that line means that all our adventures have ended. Shame, I really enjoyed the company of the hobbits the men, the dwarf and elf. Oh, yes and the wizard. (cowers behind Legolas to avoid Gandalf's stares) So the agenda now is that once Frodo and all awake, we shall honor the Ringbearers in the Fields of Cormallen. I'm just sitting here now, chatting with Eomer and Legolas and Gimli about weapons and warfare and the sort of things one talks about in times like this. Whoops, Sam and Frodo need to be administered another dose of 100% Athleas Medicine! (made by yours truly). And I thought I could have some peace!  
  
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Review. PLEASE!!! I beg you.  
  
A/N(s): I'm in a bit of a crunch...I have another chapter to go for this fic, then I need to finish the first chapter on my drunk people fic (I just realized the beauty will be spoilt if it's all in one chapter, too many people) and then I need to do the second chapter. The second chapter will come easier, for they will all be drunk and writing about madness comes easier than writing about saneness. Time limit: less than one week. Hang in there with me!! 


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